Stuck Relationships and  “Bonding to the Trauma”, How to Work with  High Conflict Relationships

Series 18


May 18, 2023
12:00 -1:00 pm EST

Over the last 36 years of my practice, I have specialized in working with very difficult cases. One of the things that I specialize in is working with relationships of all kinds. This includes couples, alternative relationships, LGBTQIA+ marriage, parenting and family. Having recently published my book on relationships, “Structured Relationship Theory” I began to realize that sometimes people in relationships perceive the dynamics of those relationships as traumatizing. The question arose, “What happens in a marriage, for example, when one partner perceives the other partner as traumatizing?” This is especially true in cases such as affairs. People can get stuck in relationships. When they lock onto the trauma, essentially bonding more to the trauma than to their partner. I have found that using alternative treatment processes, such as Neurofeedback or BioRegulation,Therapy (BRT) can be excellent tools to speed up and increase the efficacy of the treatment process, working more quickly and more deeply than talk therapy alone. My goal is to provide you with a different perspective using alternative methods to achieve significantly better results in a shorter period of time utilizing these alternative therapies, methods and tools, along with talk therapy to augment and amplify each other.

  1. List and describe the pros and cons of talk therapy alone versus alternative methods such as Neurofeedback or BioRegulation Therapy (BRT)
  2. Utilize a decision making process, as to what approaches would be the best in any given treatment situation.
  3. Explain to a client/patient the pros and cons of utilizing these alternative methods as adjunct to standard therapy.
  4. Explain the rationale of utilizing Neurofeedback and/or BioRegulation Therapy (BRT) in working with relationships.



Licensed Mental Health Counselor, State of Florida National Certified Counselor #29912 Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor #476234 Certified Forensic Mental Health Evaluator, #000049 Certified Child Custody Evaluator #618 Distance Credentialed Counselor #29912 Qualified Parenting Coordinator Qualified Clinical Supervisor Past President, Parliamentarian & Ethics Committee Chair, Florida Mental Health Counselors Association (FMHCA) Michael Holler is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, a National Certified Counselor, a Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor, a Certified Forensic Mental Health Evaluator, a Certified Child Custody Evaluator, a Qualified Parenting Coordinator, a Qualified Clinical Supervisor, A Distance Certified Counselor, A Kink Certified Counselor and a Certified Family and County Mediator. Michael has a private practice in Tavernier in the Florida Keys. Michael has been working with individuals, families, relationships and organizations for over 36 years. Michael is also a Neurofeedback provider. Michael has worked in inpatient psychiatric, community mental health and private practice settings. Michael has worked as an adjunct professor in psychology at Florida Keys Community College. Michael was President of the Upper Keys Interagency Council in 1997. Michael was the first Intensive Onsite Services Counselor in the State of Florida. Michael is the Past President and Ethics Committee Chair, and currently serves as Parliamentarian of the Florida Mental Health Counselors Association. Michael conducted his own research and evaluation on the Direct/Inferential Model of Communication in both his senior project (bachelor’s level) and his Masters Thesis. For his Senior Project on this subject, Michael was awarded Second Prize in the Undergraduate Research Competition by the Missouri Psychological Association. In cooperation with the Deputy Clerk of Monroe County Court, Michael developed a Social Investigation Program for the Monroe County Court. Michael is a former musician (Guitarist & Singer) and continues to perform as a hobby. Michael also was a former Master Scuba Instructor, and was the author of an article published in the Fourth Quarter 1994 issue of the Undersea Journal of the Professional Association of Dive Instructors (PADI), entitled: The Psychological Aspects of Dive Rescue Management. He very recently published his book:
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